It all started off as a game,
an exercise in my lack of shame.
But from it came a new and ever lasting flame.
Every single moment I remember, frame by frame.
One weeks time, it was about,
my feelings so immediate, so devout
“for sure” I was “without a doubt”
My heart and mind filled with love throughout.
Soon it came time to say good bye
kissing you and missing you, my best friend in no time.
“See you soon” I said, trying not to cry.
I knew my love could span the time
Even the distance, or at least I would try.
My new motivation found to work and fight
so to me again you soon would fly.
Back and forth over those months
in our love I did trust.
You would come home to me soon
to stay forever and start anew.
Finally that day did come
when we were together
and you were home.
In every action the illation there shown
you trusted me and came on your own.
Each day passed happier than the one before
despite our differences,
and sleeping on the floor.
Next to you I would stand, forever more.
My life to share,
what’s mine is yours.
For you my feelings grew even stronger
Although the future unplanned you made it brighter.
I never missed a chance to make our bond tighter.
For you all things I gave
to make you feel special, and make you feel great.
How fate had brought you here, and you are home,
with me you will stay, never alone.
In your corner I would be,
until the day you said to me,
“Babe, please set me free.”
My heart was broken,
the lump in my throat grew
imagining a life without you.
The things I would miss, things yet done
all my hope from then on was gone.
For days I felt like a shadow of me,
an imposter that everyone could see.
Thoughts of regret and paths mis-stepped
riddled my mind as I slept.
My confused heart tells my mind to see
a projection;
of you in a foggy window
as I stare at the street.
In slow and deep I breathe
why is it your reflection I see, not me?
My heart is tossed like a ship that’s lost
in a stormy sea of despair.
To make you remember all the parts of me
to bring you home and make you see.
I love you Donnie, that’s all that matters….
to me.
But in you the unsettling feeling grew
of failure and bad choices too.
“Hate him,” most did say.
“I can’t do that,” I’d say. “No way.”
In my heart he will live forever
a part of me I cannot and want not sever.
To me I feel I must be patient.
Here is the part that takes imagination,
running into you in of all places, a train station.
“How have you been?” I’ll say at once,
with a smile on my face and a pain in my gut.
“Fulfilled and happy” is what you will say.
But in your heart, feelings will sway;
questions remain like, “was this truly the only way?”
But inside of me your torch I still carry,
my first love of hopefully many.
It had gone dim but is now ready,
to be stoked again and burn a plenty.
Onto a train un-scheduled by either
we ride and ride and take turns as the story teller and receiver.
“Sitting on a hilltop knocking down aero planes”
your smile and the color of sunset on ocean all over your face.
Together, laughing and smiling, no recollection of the pain.
For you I have passively waited, but not in vain.
My heart you have carried through sun and rain
to me unknowingly you have returned once again.
This time more resolute than the last
with a clear memory of the past.
More apt to give and ready to say,
“I love you too Robby, and with you I will stay.”
