My boyfriend’s butt is beautiful. It’s pretty. It’s plump. It fits in the palm of my hand. I can’t keep my hands off it, and simply touching it turns me on. I’ve spanked it, kissed it, rubbed it, grabbed it, bit it — and now I want to stick something in it. A strap-on dildo to be exact. I want to bend that boy over, face down, bum up, and do him in the most dirty of ways. I want to make his prostate gland giddy with anal afternoon delight.
So last November I said to him, “I want to do you in the butt with a strap-on. I think it’s only fair.” He’s not only put his peen in my vajayjay, he’s poked me in the tush too.
“Um, no.” He laughed nervously and changed the subject. Needless to say, this no-bullshit approach did not work.
Unwavering in my attempt to stick my strap-on where the sun don’t shine, I approached him again in December with a more sensitive strategy: “Just because I want to pack your fudge and you let me doesn’t mean you are a fudge packer, baby.” I thought assuring him I wouldn’t think he was gay, but rather a try-anything-sexual would work for sure.
Originally from Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between.
