100,000 Dead Haitians~or~It’s Hard To Get Priorities Straight When Under A Cold

17-Jan-10

I’m pretty sick today, but this doesn’t stop the flood of crazy in my world.

Today 100,000 or so Haitians died in an Earthquake. I didn’t feel it naturally and I don’t know any Haitians, though I understand how shocking that number is to a great many of people.

My twitter feed was bombarded with a number to text a $10 donation to Haitian relief (found here, and almost simultaneously…

Almost simultaneously someone else was bullying me into giving $1 for cancer on a facebook group.

Bullying people into donations, what is that about? That’s despicable. You take something good and sprinkle it with horrible. It’s like being a monogamous rapist, or a cake baker/poisoner.

Yesterday I found out someone I know was laid off of work, and today I found out that Dexter has cancer.

It’s a sad time, and so forgive me, world, if I’m not at %100 to deal with it all because I am sick.

Granted, the biggest issue is 100,000 dead Haitians. There is nothing rational to say about that other than sending relief money (I don’t do…prayers).

Other than maybe one thing. How futile is it to think about starting wars when we live in a world where 100,000 people can die from natural disasters? That death count is something I can’t even imagine, and if someone tells you that they can even begin to understand it then they are lying to you.

Oh and I forgot about the Conan thing. Damned horrible situation if you ask me.

-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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Milk~or~Don’t Even Get Me Started On The Boy In The Wheelchair Scene

17-Jan-10

I started watching Milk tonight with trepidation.

The film sat on my shelf from Netflix for about 2 weeks now, part of that was due to my visiting family and how wrapped up I was with them, and part of that was an internal conflict.

I feel like watching Milk is required for me. “My family gave me Milk for DVD,” my friend Fly G told me, “should I be offended?”

“Why would you be offended?” I asked.

“Everyone got DVDs…and I got Milk. My mother’s boyfriend gave it to me…”
“Did you like it?” I asked curiously glancing at my copy.
“No”

Then he started going on about black guys and dildos, at any rate, I wasn’t looking forward to my screening of Milk because I felt like I was required to watch it, required to reflect on how amazing it was, and required to then write about it as a bit of a gay activist myself ((cough)).

And I was liking it for the first hour or so. I don’t think Sean Penn’s performance was as good as people claimed as I feel he went full gay just like he went full retard. The supporting cast was pretty damn great though, and the story was a real underdog drama and who doesn’t like that?

Then they introduced Diego Luna’s character, and something felt off. All of a sudden I wasn’t watching a movie FOR me, I was watching a movie talking AT me, like if one of my synapses snapped.

The only people I’d seen on screen were white, fair enough I can dig it, and then I saw this latin character who was hysterical and immature, dismissed repeatedly as someone stupid.

Films can’t be racists, people can be racists but not films, films are either boring or entertaining, and this short changing of an ethnic dude struck me as pretty boring.

And then I noticed that the rest of the cast (particularly in the vignettes) were white dudes who looked like gogo boys…

It was like the film had stopped engaging me with a conversation and went off on a black boys and dildos tangent like my friend Fly G usually does. In other words, I probably felt like how an indian american would feel when he saw Dances with Wolves, or how an alien would feel while watching Avatar…

WTF?

I hate a good story ruined by single-mindedness and a closed in view of the world, and if this is the best gay cinema has to offer then consider me bored.

…and just in case you’re wondering, which I know you were…

F,
Marry,
Kill.
Milk Edition

I’d F Emile Hirsch, Marry Joseph Cross, and kill Sean Penn as Harvey Milk…as inappropriate as that sounds.
-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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Christmas With A Nerd~or~Batman Teaches Spanish

17-Jan-10

It’s tough Christmas shopping for a nerd. Us nerd types demand gifts that are mostly expensive and rarely practical. I want video games, gadgets, electronic toys, gift cards to Best Buy…I never want a scarf or pairs of socks.

On the other hand, you can’t tell with most people if they are really pleased with a gift you give them, but a nerd’s appreciation is always obvious. I’ve given my aunt some neat little presents here and there, and I get a “thanks!” You probably get a “thanks” from most people too, but do you ever wonder whether you really succeeded in pleasing that person with your gift?

Gift-giving is one of the few practices in life that offers very little feedback, and very little room for improvement because of that lack of feedback.

Nerds are different. Once you find out someone is a nerd, your gift-giving will become easier, and the nerds appreciation will be noticeable.

I send my mom my Xmas list when she asks, and once it is sent I can feel her heart nearly giving in.

Oblivion for the Xbox 360 (Game of the Year Edition Please)
Wii Sports Resort
iPod Touch or any other top of the line iPod
A brand new laptop…

etc. The poor woman is in her early 50’s and has probably never even SEEN an Xbox 360.

I was stuck with a dilemma however. What should I get my mother? I don’t know too many women in their early 50’s and I’m hit or miss when it comes to gifts.

People have a hard time believing that my mother used to read comic books, and so would I had I not found her stash of spanish language comic books in our apartment when I was a kid.

It was a box full of Superman comics where he was a dick and Batman comics where he was a well intentioned crusader. It was mostly hokey Golden and Silver age type comics where the hero is a goody two shoes.

My mom, as a young girl, would sneak off into to the comic shop without telling her mother and purchase a few of the books for nickels. She would devour them and get some more, and then she discovered boys, then my father, then me.

And now here I was with her old Batman comics, and I needed to polish up my spanish reading skills in order to keep up with his adventures with the Riddler and the Joker.

Growing up in a ghetto was tough, and my mom was nagging and otherwordly (as most moms are), but in the 90’s we found what we had in common as two people; we were both CRAZY about superhero cartoons.

We both watched the Phoenix Saga unfold on the Xmen cartoon show in complete AWE.

“Oh my god, did you just see that??” I’d scream at her.
“Yeah she’s dead!” she’d reply in disbelief.

We watched all of the Spider-man cartoons, and we shed some manly tears when we saw the Heart of Ice episode of Batman (It won the show an Emmy you know!)

And so, for her gifts this year, I took a risk.

I was going to get her graphic novels.

“You’re giving your mother graphic novels?” A friend asked, “nobody gives their mother’s graphic novels.”

I bought two graphic novels. One was The Long Halloween, a stylish and modern Batman mystery tale with lots of his villains appearing, and I bought her the Pièce de résistance; Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?

That last one was a book that unofficially ended the Golden Age era of Superman, presumably, the Superman that she knew. It details his happy-go-lucky foes from that era turning sinister, some of Superman’s friends dying, and it “ends with a wink.”

I knew she had a like for comic book characters, but not so sure she’d still like Comic Books, so I got her the Ally McBeal season 1 DVD (the show made her laugh!).

My mother did good for me on my xmas list, and was shocked to see I had given her more than one gift. She opened them–and this next bit might have been my imagination–but I swear that she was underwhelmed by the Ally McBeal dvd, and was overjoyed at the comics.

“Thank youu!” She said, but there again, maybe it was JUST a thank you, and not a real thank you.

“I tried,” I thought to myself. I then explained to her that the Superman comic was the finality to the Superman that she read as a youth, I thought she’d love to read whatever happened to him now.

The following morning I walked into her room to ask her something, and I caught her reading Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow. She was HALFWAY through it. She put it down next to her, and she bookmarked where she left off with the magnifying glass she was using to take in the detail and make the font bigger.

There were guests to entertained, so she couldn’t get back to the book that day, but for the first time since being a kid an object had mystified me….this half-read comic that I gave my mother.

I opened the page up to where the magnifying glass was. What page did she leave on? What panel? How much had she read? Where did she think the story was going?

I kept checking it as if the details inside the book had changed since the last time I glanced at it.

Inside that book was my mother, not as my mother, but as a little girl who was smart enough to be interested in little boy things. She was a reader with flights of fancy that wasn’t afraid of being geeky. In that book were me and her and what we liked about the world.

I’m going to send her more graphic novels with explanations as to why she should read them. I’ll talk to her more about why Avatar was so weird for a James Cameron film and how it could have been better (a conversation we had when I took her to see it).

I feel like I can start being friends with her, and it’s one more nerd that I can give easy gifts to.

-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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Los Angeles Sucks~or~Paying Off That Debt

17-Jan-10

I don’t do vacations very well.

When I made the decision to plunge forth into the real world, I had with me a certain set of values that–on hindsight–might have been slightly skewed.

And for good reason. You might teach your child about morality and responsibility, but along the way some parents can’t help but do a bit of indoctrination.

You see, I thought I owed my family an enormous debt. Call it classical catholic guilt (or jewish guilt, or any-religion-guilt). I felt that I needed to devote a large amount of holiday time with my family.

My mother had always complained that kids in the USA didn’t value their parents, “they just don’t spend enough time with their mothers, they run away from home and never come back.”

Last year I made the foolish mistake of flying to Los Angeles to visit my folks for two weeks, some of those days were unpaid, and I did so because I felt guilty.

But I’ve learned since then to strip away the indoctrination from the responsibility. Tomorrow I leave for Los Angeles for ONE WEEK and no more!

The In-N-Out burger that will be waiting for me once I land will power me for 2 days, the next 2 days will be powered by multi-player wii games, the rest of the time will be powered by my Angelino friends…

The truth is that visiting my family is a responsibility and not a vacation, at least it has been for the last several years. I’m not sure what I can do to change that, but you’ll be damned if I don’t find ways to do just that.

My first step will be to get everyone to go see Avatar in 3D, which is something that I’ve been wanting to do here but hadn’t found anyone interested.

I’m packed and I’ve come to terms with my arrival in Los Angeles, that stinking state from hell…the freeways and the junk in the air, the plastic tits and the dull nightlife…

It’s where I’m from. Specifically, the building where I’m from is now condemned, and so is the whole damned state.

I didn’t mean to sound so negative, because it is still a good place to visit, but so is Berlin.

-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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A Call From MomorBaby Boomers

17-Jan-10

I was audibly angry at my mother when I finally picked up the phone.

“What is it?”

“Oh excuuse me for bothering you!” She answered in spanish.

She’d left a voice-mail message while I was watching a movie, called another time while I was out with friends, and then rang me now when I was relaxing

In situations like this, what occurs when I pick up the phone is an argument about the voicemails, when did I get the voicemail, how many she left, and why I didn’t get back to her.

It’s like a post-modern painting, oh this painting is ABOUT painting, just like this call is ABOUT the call.

“If I died, you wouldn’t find out for days,” she snarled.

“Oh I’d find out,” I responded through a mouthful of grinding teeth, “Don’t worry about that one mom! SOMEONE would tell me and I’d find out.”

It was about a day or two after the New York State Senate struck down the gay marriage bill when I became angry at…them.

I thought it was the local senators I was angry at, but it wasn’t just them. I thought it was maybe the cowardly Dems, or more obviously, the stupid Republicans; but it wasn’t either. Then maybe I was angry at the religious right?

But no, it wasn’t JUST them. I was angry at that generation, my mother, your mother, those MOTHERS.

I realized this while watching the State senators for gay marriage stand up and deliver poignant speeches about why they were supporting the bill. I only heard one Senator explain why he didn’t support the bill in what was essentially a mumbling of “religion and bible said so.”

After all those speeches the votes came in, and it was defeated by a majority of silent votes. Moments afterward people around the internet started to speculate, but these answers wrung hollow due to the simple fact that no one gave a convincing speech as to why they were voting against the bill.

It was cowardice.

And it wasn’t just the marriage bill in NY, it was also the War that has raged on without question, and it was the cowering to the religious right. The baby boomers in America grew up with religion when their children grew up with the Internet. They were told about Sweden whereas we might have actually chatted with a Swede on AOL. There was no AIDS scare for me, but there was a terrorist scare, and even afterward we didn’t fall in line like they did.

My mother still asked me to pray for people, even though I told her when I was around 15 that I didn’t believe in God. What the hell was wrong with them?

I can’t stand that they run things, but I also pity them. They don’t deserve our anger, they deserve our patience.

“I’ll see you this Christmas mom…yep…I love you too mom!” Because I do, but still. Wow.

-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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Thanksgiving~or~New Rule: We Are Allowed to Punch Strange Kids In The Face If They Bother Us

17-Jan-10

I’ve spent the majority of this Thanksgiving at my friend’s house in Boston on his couch passed out watching movies, eating turkey, playing some random video games, and watching my back fat develop into a comfortable portable cushion.

The Thanksgiving hangover is starting to settle throughout the household and America at large, millions of gym machines are heard screaming in agony in unison.

(I can smell the bacon for this morning’s breakfast, good Dog when does this torture end?)

I’ve learned something unrelated to food this Thanksgiving though. I don’t think a parent should hit their child, but I think we should be allowed to punch a kid real hard in the face provided that you’re a stranger and they start hitting you out of the blue.

Look, I understand that children (boy’s in particular) have a confused bout of aggression at around age 10, and they might not recognize that I’m significantly older thant hey are due to my cherubic face, but if I’m lying down on the couch and you’re kicking me “playfully” I am in the universal right to punch your ribcage real hard.

Back home in Los Angeles some neighborhood kids were “playfully” hounding me as I was doing laundry, please bear in mind that I was around 19 at the time and the kids were maybe 12.

I feel it is an important lesson and should be thanked for kicking the shit out of those kids until they went crying home; do not mess with things bigger than you. Their simpleton mom chose to come to my mom and complain, in which case my mom looked at this woman and told her to “get out of my door, my son is 19 and your kids should know better.”

Parents, protect your children against face punching with the same vigor you protect them against diddling, and all will be right with this world.

-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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Gay Sex In Dragon Age: Origins~or~Gay Rights For RPG Avatars

17-Jan-10

Videogamers have discovered that it is possible to have hot gay sex in the newest Bioware RPG Dragon Age: Origins

The video game isn’t something your uncle built for your Dos Program, Dragon Age is the next blockbuster from a developer known to churn out epic games for most major consoles and the PC.

While this is a triumph for fans of the modern RPG, it is also a small victory for me, as I have always maintained that my video game avatar should be able to have sex with virtual male elves.

I don’t spend an hour fine-tuning the size of a nose for my avatar only to have him be rejected by all the other males in the story. I want for the main character in a videogame to have awkward sexual encounters the same as heterosexuals do!

This is a monumental step in our culture. We have been banned from having our male game protagonists cavort with other men. Recently games like The Sims or Bully broke new ground with having things resembling males getting on with other things resembling males, but here we have what is clearly hardcore sexual relations between two guys who look like they’re on steroids.

And this isn’t about identity politics, it is about the opening up a plethora of MORE options for people to have fun within a game. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve role played as an angry lesbian in a video game…..TWICE (and that is one too many).

The angry lesbian avatars have been able to partake in forbidden romance AND wage war, the only downside to the gay male encounters in Dragon Age is that no wars will be waged because one will be too busy screwing the virtual elf (and all of a sudden I believe “screwing the virtual elf” should be a great euphemism for an action that I have not yet defined).

-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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Missing the Pop Point~or~Superman Learns How To Fly

17-Jan-10

The video has been analyzed before, and yes it is about the secret powers of women, but I feel like the analysis of Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance video has missed one crucial point…

We love it because it is the birth of a Pop Star.

We knew it was in the protagonist all this time, but no one was sure until the one moment.

-Deviant


Originally from Deviant

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